I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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