Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
