If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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