??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
