I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
As shirtless as possible
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
