I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
