At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
