Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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