I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
