What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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