you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
