i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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