How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
