You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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