its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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