found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
