he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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