when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
