I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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