Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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