we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
