i think my tv is drunk
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
