Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
