You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize