fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
