Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
