I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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