Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
