I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
