coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
