My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
