found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
