bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
