Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just made out with a guy for $7.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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