Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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