Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
