You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
