**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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