Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
