White coat. Heels.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
