It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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