it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
