i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
