He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize