All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
