a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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