my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
it's like iHOP with fire
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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