nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize