people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
