when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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