Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
