Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
