I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
ugly people sure do ruin things
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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