covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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