this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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