As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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