OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
