tonight lets celebrate not being married
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
